| I have an invisible illness. To look at
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| | the first two weeks I was in tears. At
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| me you would see a short, fat,
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| | the end of the second two weeks I was in
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| middle-aged grandmother. Sometimes I walk
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| | the bed for most of the next five
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| with a cane, but most of the time I don't
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| | months.My love life is not what I want it
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| need it. I have a handicapped parking tag
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| | to be. It is very difficult for my
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| hanging on the mirror of my car. I park
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| | husband to make love to me knowing that
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| in slots designated for people like me
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| | his slightest touch can be painful. This
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| and get nasty looks when I get out of my
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| | might work if you are married to a
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| car because I look healthy.I am not
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| | sadist, but most folks don't want to hurt
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| healthy, and unless researchers find a
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| | you. The fatigue also plays havoc with my
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| cure I never will be. I have
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| | love life. I get very tired very quickly,
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| Fibromyalgia, It is a connective tissue
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| | have two sons nine years apart in age.
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| disorder related to arthritis and lupus.
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| | My youngest son has been cheated. His mom
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| The health professionals don't know what
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| | couldn't do all the things his brother's
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| causes it, or how to cure it. There is no
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| | mom did. We don't camp anymore, or hike.
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| blood work that says yes, you have it or
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| | Ttravel or visiting relatives who live
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| no, you don't. It is diagnosed by a list
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| | far away has to be planned well in
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| of symptoms and a series of pressure
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| | advance so I don't get to the point when
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| points on the body.They symptoms of
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| | we get where we are doing I can
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| Fibromyalgia are many and varied. What
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| | participate in the activities. I didn't
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| affects one sufferer may not affect
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| | make it to all of my younger son's
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| another. In my case it is chronic fatigue
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| | activities.I have three beautiful
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| and chronic pain. The fatigue can be
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| | grandchildren. I have not bonded with the
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| overwhelming. Just thinking about
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| | two youngest as well as I have with the
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| getting out of your bed or your chair is
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| | oldest. Because of the fatigue and
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| more than you can deal with. Doing
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| | tendency to drop things I couldn%u2019t
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| everyday things like washing your hair
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| | hold them as much as I did the first
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| may not be possible because you can't
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| | one.I%u2019ve lost friends. My plans are
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| hold your arms up long enough to lather
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| | always subject to change. This makes
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| in the shampoo much less have any
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| | others feel that you are leading them on
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| remaining strength to rinse it
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| | or don%u2019t want to be with them. We
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| out.Chronic pain is another major symptom
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| | need our friends now more than ever. The
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| of this disease. It is not like any pain
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| | Spoons Theory is best way to make your
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| I have ever had. My muscles hurt. My
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| | friends understand your illness, of
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| joints hurt. My skin hurts. It hurts to
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| | these combined has led to a tremendous
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| have the lightest touch. Being hugged can
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| | amount of guilt and anger. These have to
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| be torture. Shaking hands feels like a
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| | be dealt with in order to move on with
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| vise. This is where the pressure point
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| | your life. Grieve. Grieve for the
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| diagnoses comes in. There are eighteen
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| | abilities you have lost. Grieve for the
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| pressure points on your body. A doctor
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| | uncontrollable changes in your life.
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| who is familiar with the illness knows
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| | Grieve for the plans you had that will
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| how hard and where to press, If he gets
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| | not come to pass. Grieve for the you, you
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| a reaction on eleven of the eighteen it
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| | could have been. Get angry. Find someone
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| is considered a diagnosis. The day I went
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| | who will listen without judging. Who will
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| in because of the pain I had a response
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| | let you blow off steam. If cussing makes
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| to all eighteen pressure points.There are
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| | you feel better, use every foul word you
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| other symptoms that go along with the
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| | ever heard and make up new ones. Get it
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| illness that do not in and of themselves
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| | out of your system. Dealing with the
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| mean you have Fibro. They can be
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| | guilt and the anger are not going to
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| indicators of other illnesses or mean
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| | happen over night, and once you deal with
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| nothing at all. I have a tendency to drop
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| | it doesn't mean it will be gone forever.
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| small items such as keys. I have also
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| | You will have periods where they will
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| dropped large items because I thought I
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| | come back. Don't be alarmed or get
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| had a good grip on them and didn%u2019t.
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| | depressed, well maybe for a little while
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| This is not always constant, and some
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| | you can be depressed, but deal with them
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| days are better than others.It can also
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| | in the way you know works for you. The
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| affect your vision. Some days it is
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| | only exception here is substance abuse.
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| extremely hard to focus and other days I
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| | It is very tempting to drink, smoke pot
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| have clarity of vision I haven't had in
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| | or do pills to make it all go away.
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| years. Some days I can walk like I did
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| | However, it is only a temporary fix, and
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| ten years ago and some days it is all I
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| | adds to your problems. It is not what you
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| can do to make my legs work. Some days
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| | would tell your children or your friends
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| I can eat whatever I want. Some days my
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| | to do. So, don't you. (End of sermon)All
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| stomach is in an uproar and getting any
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| | is not lost. I have been able to make
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| distance from a functional toilet is not
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| | positives out of the negatives. I now
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| an option.Then there is the %u201CFibro
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| | work from home as a freelance writer. It
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| Fog,%u201D This is not a wonderful side
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| | has been a slow journey, but I am making
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| effect of the illness but sometimes it
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| | progress. I have written a few articles
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| can be down right funny, I%u2019ve had
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| | and been paid for them. I was regular
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| my moments too. Mine usually are trying
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| | book reviewer for a national romance
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| to remember why I went from one room to
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| | writers magazine, Once I sold a short
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| the other. Everyone has this happen at
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| | story I had to give stop writing for
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| one time or another. For me it is a
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| | them as the reviewers are all volunteers
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| daily event. Sometimes, hourly. I have
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| | and unpublished. I am developing an
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| sticky notes everywhere.How does this
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| | online reputation as a writer doing
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| affect my everyday life? In some ways it
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| | research columns, writing book reviews
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| has been extremely negative. I have well
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| | and teaching classes via the Internet.My
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| meaning friends and family tell me about
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| | husband and I are learning to adapt to
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| the latest miracle cure. They also give
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| | the illness and have a mutually
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| me unsolicited advice such as if you
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| | satisfying love life. My children and
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| would only . . . fill in the blank . . .
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| | grandchildren are learning to cope and
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| you would feel better. Or, there is this
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| | know that they are loved in spite of what
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| wonderful new doctor, treatment or
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| | I can no longer do. We are learning how
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| vitamin that will surely cure me. They
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| | to modify the things we love to do as a
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| get offended when I don't jump at the
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| | family so that I can participate and
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| latest offering or advice, but what they
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| | everyone can enjoy themselves.My friends
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| don't understand is that I have looked at
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| | and family are learning to look carefully
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| all the treatments and %u201Ccures,%u201D
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| | at treatments and doctors not just for
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| and I found them lacking, quackery or
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| | me, but for themselves too.Now, if I
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| just plain dangerous, can no longer
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| | could get people in parking lots to quit
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| work, even part time. The fatigue and
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| | giving me dirty looks when a normal
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| pain would put me to bed. I know because
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| | looking woman gets out of a car parked in
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| I tried working part time. At the end of
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| | a handicapped spot.
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