Launching Your Young, Adult Child

Steve finished college, found a job, but really didn'this retirement.
have the money to handle all of the living alone costsFor Jim and Kathy, it was even worse. In order to help
of a single adult... and have a social life at the sameSusan out, they had to borrow money to cover the
time, so he moved home with his folks.expenses of her divorce and caring for her and the
Jim and Kathy love retirement. Jim was 1 year intochildren.
retirement, Kathy 6 months, when their daughterSo, are you facing this problem? Do you wonder what
Susan's husband left her and their two young children.you can do to nurture your adult children along to leave
Susan had not been working while the children werethe nest? Do you want to find ways to support her
young and her child support could not begin to coverand not push her out too soon, and yet, you also would
housing and child care expenses. The 3 of themlike to be able to see an end to this dilemma? We
moved in with Jim and Kathy.have some suggestions for you.
Tom struggles with depression so it was no surprise to
him that his 23 year old son, Josh also has the sameSuggestions For Helping Your Young Adult "Take
issues. Josh's sadness and depression make it hardFlight"
for him to hold on to a job. The harder it is to hold onDo not see returning home as the first best option.
to a job, the more depressed he becomes. TomSometimes your adult child may just need help finding
wonders if Josh will ever be on his own.a cheaper place to live, a better idea of budgeting or
Now, more than any other time in our history, youngeven a short-term loan.
adults are finding it harder to leave home and many,Do not sacrifice your own financial future.
because of the economy or other issues, are finding aContinue to care for yourself financially. You do not
need to return to their parents' home. This can bewant to trickle down the financial burden to your
stressful for everyone.children so that they have to take care of you in your
old age. Your children most likely have many years to
Young Adults: Leave Home Without A Boomerangsave for their retirement. You are approaching the end
A 2009 survey by the Pew Research Centerof your time.
reported that 13% of parents with adult children saidTeach your young adult about finances.
that one of their adult sons or daughters had movedYou may be willing to help them out of debt, but don't
back home in the past year.just bail them out. Find a way to teach them how to
Another study reported that 40% of 2008 grads wereavoid debt, handle credit cards and live within a budget.
still living at home with their parents and 42% of 2006If your relationship is tense, find a financial adviser or
grads were also still living at home.send them to a class to learn these skills.
If your adult child needs to borrow money, make sure
Reasons Young Adults Remain With Their Parentsthat he understands that it is a loan. Work out a
The main reason that young adults have troublerepayment plan, either through money or increased
moving out on their own is the high cost of housingresponsibilities, that is realistic and one that you will
and other life expenses.follow through.
The Bureau of Labor Statistics reported in October,Set clear expectations about the living arrangements.
2009 that 15.6% of 20-to-24-year-olds wereDiscuss household responsibilities, overnight
unemployed vs. 8.7% for people over 25. College debtarrangements with dates, what needs there are for
also takes a toll, so it makes sense to move backsharing plans about when each of you will be home
home where life is comfortable, rent is low or none atfor meals, trips, etc.
all and cooking and laundry are often provided.Charge your young adult rent.
Others, like Sara, return for personal reasons, toRent can be a good thing, even if you decide to put it
recover from a divorce or an illness, or just becausein a savings account for when your adult child leaves
they would like a different lifestyle.home.
Effects of Young Adult Children Living With TheirSet a time limit with your young adult.
ParentsDiscuss how long these living arrangements will
We know that when a young adult moves backcontinue. It is good to begin with an idea that this
home, there is often more tension in the family. Parentsarrangement will not last forever. You can choose to
find it hard not to interfere in their child's life and thechange the time limit in the future if that needs to
young adult, still somewhat dependent on his parents,happen. Beginning with a date or time for a move out,
may have trouble acting in mature and responsiblelessens the impact of changing it if the return home
ways. (Or at least not live up to what parent think areseems to take too long.
mature and responsible ways.)Stick to your guns.
There are financial burdens for the parents as well.It doesn't help if you back down on your word. Your
Their desire to retire or travel may be derailedgoal is to help your young adult become self-sufficient.
because of the burden of caring for children andHonor your promises and hold her to her promises. In
grandchildren financially.the end, everyone will feel better about the
Tom has had to pay for Josh's college loans since hearrangement.
has had such a tough time finding a well-paying jobWant help with your situation? We have experience
and sticking with it. That money is now not going tohelping other parents and their young adults navigate
Tom's IRA which means that he cannot retire in 10this territory. Contact us and let's talk about how we
years when he turns 66. This is the time when Tommight help you.
should really be working hard to put money away for