| For most of us, especially women, the simple act of | | | | character's plight? |
| watching a romantic movie can change our mood. | | | | But do remember that the creators of these fictions |
| Especially if the movie is well crafted, with an | | | | are not just attending to soul truths but also to the |
| attractive and appealing leading man and leading | | | | anticipated box-office reaction and the bestsellers' list. |
| woman. (By the way, for most women viewers, the | | | | In other words, making money and winning awards are |
| female star is infinitely more important than the male.) | | | | what motivate them more than what happens to your |
| If the acting and the story are strong, and the actors | | | | love life after viewing their art. |
| appealing, the film creates an effect on us, even if we | | | | When a negative emotion clings to you from outside |
| are not consciously aware of it. This effect can last | | | | your life and you bring it inside your heart, you can sour |
| for months, years, and even decades. In fact, the | | | | a good relationship that has been beneficial to you. |
| movies you watch become a powerful part of your | | | | And spoil your perspective on a partner who is good |
| "mental diet" because they involve sight, sound, and | | | | for you. |
| emotion. This trio influences how you think and feel, | | | | -What This Means To You If You're Single- |
| and quietly, the decisions you make. | | | | If you are not in a relationship currently, this may be |
| Your mental diet has as much effect on your love life | | | | even more important to you. You may need to watch |
| as advertising for food products has on your diet, and | | | | your diet of films and novels even more carefully |
| ultimately, your waistline. | | | | because they can affect your important initial choices: |
| -Pay Attention To Your Own Viewing Habits- | | | | who you'll date, how you'll present yourself, and many |
| Many people notice, once they think about it, that | | | | other small decisions you'll make along the way. |
| watching a movie and identifying with a heroine who | | | | I shared these thoughts with a mind-coaching client |
| was wronged by her lover makes them feel angry, or | | | | recently and she interesting. She became very |
| sad-almost as if it happened to them personally or to a | | | | thoughtful. I watched her face, and said nothing, letting |
| good friend. This is especially true when the disloyalty, | | | | her sit with her silence. Then she spoke up. |
| pain, or hurt is not resolved well by the movie's end. | | | | "Wow. I just thought of a man I was dating for a few |
| While we are engaged in watching, we almost live | | | | months," she said, "We really felt connected, then |
| vicariously through the protagonist's life. We pick up | | | | something happened. My sister and her fiancé |
| and integrate borrowed, second-hand emotions that | | | | were coming into town from California, and I wanted |
| can color our feelings about the love interests in our | | | | him to meet her. But he had a trip already scheduled |
| own lives. | | | | with his buddies. He absolutely wouldn't cancel. I got |
| -Give Yourself This Simple Test- | | | | myself so angry and hurt, I broke up with him. Truth |
| If you don't belief this, ask yourself: have I ever felt | | | | was, his trip was scheduled way before we ever met, |
| angry with the man in my life when he hasn't done | | | | his friends were coming from all over, and it was hard |
| anything wrong to me? If the answer is yes, or maybe, | | | | to coordinate eight guys' schedules. He was doing the |
| ask yourself the next question: What was I watching | | | | right thing. I wasn't." |
| or reading during the week? | | | | And then she explained why she was telling me this |
| Think back carefully: what movies, books, news | | | | story: "This all happened after I saw a movie where |
| stories, and websites have you paid attention to | | | | the guy canceled a crucial business trip to hang out |
| recently? What stories have your friends or | | | | with a woman he just met. I figured that was love." |
| acquaintances shared about their current relationships | | | | -So Now What?- |
| or past romances? | | | | Continue to enjoy your movies about love and |
| -What To Do- | | | | romance. Watch them for entertainment and pleasure, |
| There is nothing wrong with being affected by what | | | | and to put yourself and your date in a warm, romantic, |
| you hear or see, even if it's fictional. | | | | sexy mood. But don't use them as your guide to life. |
| Fiction is created by a novelist's or screenwriter's view | | | | Your own heart and mind can do that job a lot better |
| of life. Who would we be without great literature to | | | | than a novelist or screenwriter can! ©2007 By |
| teach, inspire and persuade us? And who would we | | | | Wendy Lapidus-Saltz. All rights reserved. |
| be if our hearts could not sympathize with a | | | | |