| Dear Lucia, | | | | settled. These days, most 27 year olds aren't settled - |
| I'm dating a man who is 5 years younger than me and | | | | male or female. You have to ask yourself some |
| not settled in his life yet. He is definitely the pursuer in | | | | questions: When do I want to be married by? Do I |
| this relationship, calling me, setting up dates and even | | | | want to have children? When? Is he motivated and |
| surprising me with events for us to do. I'm 32 and he is | | | | working towards security and stability or is he still into |
| 27 although we don't look much different in age. Should | | | | behaving as if he were in college? What are his long |
| I stop seeing him because of the age difference? | | | | term goals? What are your long term goals? If you |
| When does an age gap become too big? Anonymous | | | | want to be married within the next 2 years, then you |
| Dear Anonymous, | | | | need to ask yourself if he could possibly be the one. If |
| Until recently, a woman dating a man that was more | | | | not, are you willing to simply stay and enjoy the |
| than a few years younger was rare. Luckily, this is | | | | moment, knowing that eventually you'll have to move |
| rapidly changing. In their book, "Older Women, Younger | | | | on? Not every relationship has to lead to marriage. |
| Men" authors Felicia Brings and Susan Winter write, | | | | Finally, when does an age gap become too big? Well, |
| "Older women/younger men relationships are far more | | | | 5 years is not that much of a difference at your ages |
| prevalent and far more successful than society at | | | | (as opposed to if you were 22 and he was 17), and |
| large would have us believe. The theme that the social | | | | will become even less so as you get older. I have a |
| order reinforces often is the message that these | | | | male friend that is more than 10 years younger than |
| relationships are a bad thing-and even under the best | | | | me and we click on many levels. If he didn't have a |
| of circumstances-are only a temporary thing. Popular | | | | girlfriend, I could definitely see myself dating him and I |
| movies...suggest...in those rare cases in which a woman | | | | think he probably feels the same. It's not about age - |
| is older than the man, such couplings end badly, sadly | | | | it's about compatibility. |
| or tragically. The truth is, we've been sold a bill of | | | | In the end, to have a great relationship you need to |
| goods...Our research...confirms that older women | | | | have two people that appreciate each other and feel |
| younger men relationships are an increasingly viable | | | | lucky to be together, no matter what the age |
| (dare we say common) phenomenon". | | | | difference may be. To quote the late Aaliyah, "Age |
| You said you don't look much different in age. This tells | | | | ain't nothin' but a number". |
| me he is probably your first younger man, otherwise | | | | Lucia is a dating and relationship expert, columnist, |
| you wouldn't be so concerned about what you look | | | | lecturer and host of the TV Show "The Art of Love". |
| like together. As long as he treats you well and you | | | | With over 20 years experience on the relationship |
| have great chemistry, who cares what you look like | | | | market, Lucia has dated men of all nationalities in six |
| as a couple? Your friends will know what the age | | | | cities, four countries and two continents. Her practical |
| difference is so the only people you're concerned | | | | know-how makes her the perfect candidate to |
| about are strangers. You can't live your life trying to | | | | dispense relationship advice - after all, in almost every |
| look good in the eyes of people you'll probably never | | | | dating dilemma she has been there, done that and lived |
| see again. Besides, they're probably jealous! | | | | to tell about it. |
| Secondly, you mentioned that he is 27 and not yet | | | | |