| In business, we often compose messages in a | | | | than passive. Active-voice verbs show their subjects |
| hurry-e-mails, notes, urgent reports, or last-minute | | | | in action; passive-voice verbs act on their subjects. |
| projects. Editing is, therefore, especially necessary to | | | | While the passive is needed for variety and has |
| rid your writing of confusing, boring, and obsolete | | | | definite uses (such as to avoid placing blame), the |
| elements. | | | | active voice strengthens and shortens sentences. |
| This article helps you decide which words to cut and | | | | Passive |
| which words to put in their place. | | | | A sales increase of 32 percent occurred last month. |
| 1. Unfamiliar/Technical Words. You will communicate | | | | The new procedure is thought to be superior by the |
| best if you use words that are familiar to your reader. | | | | president. |
| (Clichés are an exception to this rule-words and | | | | The office will be cleaned by the janitor. |
| phrases that people have heard too often tend to turn | | | | Active |
| off their minds a little and propel their eyes on to the | | | | Sales increased 32 percent last month. |
| next thing.) To create effective business | | | | The president thinks the new procedure is superior. |
| communications, assume your reader is a layperson | | | | The janitor will clean the office. |
| with limited technical knowledge of the subject-do not | | | | 5. Camouflaged Words. Watch for these endings in |
| write over your reader's head by using technical | | | | the words you use (check the polysyllable words): -ion, |
| words or jargon. | | | | -tion, -ing, -ment, -ant, -ence, -ence, -ancy, -ency. Most |
| Unfamiliarascertainconsummateperuse | | | | of these endings are used to change verbs into nouns |
| Familiarfind out, learnclose, bring aboutread, study | | | | and adjectives. In effect, they are camouflaged verbs. |
| 2. Long Words. A paragraph full of long words can be | | | | Get rid of them and strengthen your writing. |
| yawn inducing. Make an effort to use short words; | | | | Poor |
| they tend to be more easily digestible. | | | | The manager affected implementation of the new |
| Long | | | | rules. |
| During the preceding year, the company was able to | | | | Adaptation to the new office environment was made |
| accelerate productive operations. | | | | easily by the personnel. |
| The action was predicted on the assumption that the | | | | We make verifications of the shipments weekly. |
| company was operating at a financial deficit. | | | | Improved |
| Short | | | | The manager implemented the new rules. |
| Last year the company was able to speed up | | | | The personnel adapted easily to the new office |
| operations. | | | | environment. |
| The action was based on the belief that the company | | | | We verify shipments weekly. |
| was losing money. | | | | 6. Unnecessary Words. Most business writing could do |
| 3. Abstract Words. The line between abstract and | | | | with a pruning job. To reduce unnecessary words, |
| concrete words is hard to define, since all words have | | | | start with a clear idea of what you want to say. After |
| something of the abstract in them. In general, abstract | | | | composing, go through your message and cut every |
| words have a greater number of meanings, most of | | | | word that is not essential to your meaning. |
| them somewhat vague, so your reader has to try to | | | | Poorconsensus of opinionfirst and foremostjust |
| interpret which meanings apply. Concrete words are | | | | recentlyask the questionbasic fundamentalsexactly |
| those that give your reader a specific mental picture. | | | | identicalvery unique |
| Abstractsizable lossnear futurework saving machine | | | | Improvedconsensus |
| Concrete | | | | (either word, but not |
| 34 percent losson Wednesdayperforms the work of | | | | both)recentlyaskfundamentalsidenticalunique |
| five operators | | | | So be your own editor, cut the poor and unnecessary |
| 4. Passive Words. Verbs are the strongest words, and | | | | words, and polish your writing to make your |
| they are at their strongest when they are active rather | | | | communication in business more effective than ever. |